Just living

This week has been a little rough.

It started out wonderful. Had an awesome time with Jesus everyday and visited a gymnastics place to watch one of the girls I use to coach, practice and then I ran into other girls and there mom that I use to help coach, they had cheerleading practice. It was sweet! I miss gymnastics a lot. I've gotten to talk to a lot of my friends on the phone this week and it's been nice.

I'm still job hunting. I've actually applied at a handful of places but haven't heard back from any of them really. This is a waiting period I do not enjoy. I'm getting restless at being at home and anxious to have work to do. It kind of makes me miss school.

The question constantly in my mind is...how long do I wait to hear back from prospective employers?....I've never had to wait so long and work so hard in finding a job before now. I did decline on one this week after a month that they hadn't contacted me but I just didn't feel like I could do it and enjoy it so I told them no.

I got so nervous after my interview on Wednesday that I started to worry and doubt my decision I had made from the offer I had gotten for the job I said I declined. Now I'm waiting to hear if I'm hired or not from the interview I had on Wednesday, it's retail but I prefer that right now.
I've been asking the Lord for peace today and for his calmness to come over me. I need to rest in the Lord during this time of waiting and it gets hard some days to do so.

I still feel a little out of place at my new church because of generation difference. I feel like I don't fit in. There really aren't many young people and the church is so small that I can only reach out to those above me. The fellowship is different. I feel like I don't know how to connect. It's like everyone is at different places and they are but it's the same old talk too. Bible study was different on wednesday night cause the pastor was out of town. It was good yet got me thinking about discussion groups...I miss chi alpha. It was hard to discuss what we were discussing at Bible study because I feel like I don't know how to relate to there perspective or whatever they are trying to get across or understand. I guess I will just learn.

I read Psalm 91 today and it helped. :-)

Psalm 91
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

I love the Lord and I know He is taking care of me. I will continually put my trust in Him.