Just living

This week has been a little rough.

It started out wonderful. Had an awesome time with Jesus everyday and visited a gymnastics place to watch one of the girls I use to coach, practice and then I ran into other girls and there mom that I use to help coach, they had cheerleading practice. It was sweet! I miss gymnastics a lot. I've gotten to talk to a lot of my friends on the phone this week and it's been nice.

I'm still job hunting. I've actually applied at a handful of places but haven't heard back from any of them really. This is a waiting period I do not enjoy. I'm getting restless at being at home and anxious to have work to do. It kind of makes me miss school.

The question constantly in my mind is...how long do I wait to hear back from prospective employers?....I've never had to wait so long and work so hard in finding a job before now. I did decline on one this week after a month that they hadn't contacted me but I just didn't feel like I could do it and enjoy it so I told them no.

I got so nervous after my interview on Wednesday that I started to worry and doubt my decision I had made from the offer I had gotten for the job I said I declined. Now I'm waiting to hear if I'm hired or not from the interview I had on Wednesday, it's retail but I prefer that right now.
I've been asking the Lord for peace today and for his calmness to come over me. I need to rest in the Lord during this time of waiting and it gets hard some days to do so.

I still feel a little out of place at my new church because of generation difference. I feel like I don't fit in. There really aren't many young people and the church is so small that I can only reach out to those above me. The fellowship is different. I feel like I don't know how to connect. It's like everyone is at different places and they are but it's the same old talk too. Bible study was different on wednesday night cause the pastor was out of town. It was good yet got me thinking about discussion groups...I miss chi alpha. It was hard to discuss what we were discussing at Bible study because I feel like I don't know how to relate to there perspective or whatever they are trying to get across or understand. I guess I will just learn.

I read Psalm 91 today and it helped. :-)

Psalm 91
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you make the Most High your dwelling— even the LORD, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."

I love the Lord and I know He is taking care of me. I will continually put my trust in Him.

Life...it's good

Since I've been home things have been kind of slow. I still do not have a job. I'm still looking and waiting. I've gotten closer to Christ in some ways...realizing how different my life has been since being home compared to how I would function at school. It's an adjustment that I'm still making.

I'm still getting use to being in a different church. Especially when the congregation doesn't have many or any people my age. They are mostly all older than me and it's much smaller than at school. I never know when I should/can speak out in conversation and in a time of prayer. The church I attend began prayer on Friday nights at 7pm, I think a couple of years ago so I went this past Friday. I miss XA prayer. That's what it reminded me of. God was so present, we were praying in the spirit and God spoke to me and a couple others through one of the ladies in the church. It was so nice and refreshing. The Lord spoke to me about how I should continue letting Him lead and work through me even though I don't always feel it or know that I'm doing it right.
I praise God for my new church family.

Today I went to a Bridal Show...I totally was overwhelmed with in the first hour I was there and this was a small one. The big one is apparently in January which hopefully I don't need to go to. Probably won't. It's just not really that fun. Since I've already picked my dress and the bridesmaid dresses, the reception hall, cake maker, caterer, and ceremony place, a lot of stuff is figured out. There were definitely too many photography places and DJ options given to me today. Now I just have to go through all the literature and websites. I also got information for tux/suit places, invitations, florists, and honeymoon options, mainly travel agents we can work with to help us figure things out.
My mother and I spoke with one of the photography places and they we're telling us that many of the brides they had spoken with were all getting married next september...crazy. One of the DJ's I liked is booked every weekend next september except the weekend of my wedding so I need to book it soon if I want him. Crazy.
I guess I'm needing to kick it into high gear soon...all these options are in the columbus area so I guess they get booked pretty fast. This is nuts...everyone thinks the same, "it's better to get things done early."

A busy week...

I was back in Dayton Tuesday night and came home Thursday night.
Spent time with friends and family at Josh's going away party Tuesday night. Prayer for him was awesome!
Wednesday we had lots of stuff to do to get him ready to leave. Busy, long day, but we got everything accomplished. A friend of mine road with us to the airport Wednesday afternoon so I would have someone to drive back with. It was a sad moment when I had to say "see you in a year."
Tears...tears...and probably more tears...
I mostly get sad and want to cry when I think about it.
Talking to him everyday through e-mail is the plan.
It's working so far.
Thursday was get more stuff done and hangout with friends which was very good. Met new students at WSU too. Yay for move-in.

God is in control.

Wednesday night I went to XA and I was encouraged by the message Pastor Steve gave.
Joshua 1:6-9
"Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

It's always nice to be reminded that God is with us always, that we can be strong, and we can overcome.